Sometimes I change

[sound: Dragon Ash - Few Lights Till Night]

I think a lot about the person I like. I can't help it. Even when I wanna sleep, I just can't stop thinking of him. My heart throbs, I can't calm down. I just can't help it.

I'm too much into it.

I'm taking it seriously. Maybe that's wrong.
In such moments I feel like a stupid little girl with no selfesteem; passive, insecure and timid.
That's not the usual me.
I hate that.

About being a big girl

Take responsibilty. Decide yourself. Go to work. Behave. Do something for society. Pay your taxes. Earn your own money. Don't be foolish. Go your own way.

Becoming an adult sure is hard. You cannot rely on others like you used to do.
You have to choose what kind of person you wanna be for the rest of your life; eventhough you don't know what you want for yourself yet.
At the beginning, you'll feel lonely. Left alone. That nobody cares for you. Helpless. Insecure. Afraid. And sometimes angry inside.

But as time goes by, you'll get used to it. And you'll start to discover the joys of this new life.

At least I hope so.

Selfish, I know

I want the person I love to stay by my side forever.
To see only me.
To think about me.
To miss me.
To hold me.
To long for my lips.
To protect me.
To give everything up for my sake.
To be addicted to me.
...
Love is selfish, isn't it?

No room to breathe

People come and go.
Everyday.
And all left behind is the smoke of their cigarettes
that hurts in my eyes.