Perfectly Wrong
There is no perfect person in this world.
Yet, there are enough who think to be.
My boyfriend loves to stress how he always tries to improve himself. He calls it "polishing".
For me, trying to improve oneself is trying to be a better person, trying to understand someone else's feelings or giving your best at whatever work you're doing.
For him though, it means mainly to care about your appearance. What style somebody represents, what kind of accessory you wear or how much you weight. Everytime he sees my unbelieving look, he likes to add things like accept challenges, but in the end, I know he doesn't mean it.
I don't think I have a bad style. I mean, I do not walk around messy. I wear earpiercings, have a tattoo, sometimes only light make-up. And I'm feeling fine the way I am.
My boyfriend though tells me on every occasion to "polish" myself.
I'm so tried of it that I, even if I just hear the sound of that word, start crying. What does he want? Making me into one of this japanese little girls who adapt everything their boyfriends tell them? He once told me, that the day we met, he thought my outfit was horrible, but since I had potential, he started dating me; believing, that I'd change.
So the me just the way I am is not enough huh.
I guess the moment I heard these words, something in me just started to hate him.
I'm tired to have to explain myself to my boyfriend for being who I am.
He thinks he understands me. But he does not. No matter how hard I try to explain.
Can there really be such a hollow person? And why did I fall in love with him?
I really wish I didn't...
Yet, there are enough who think to be.
My boyfriend loves to stress how he always tries to improve himself. He calls it "polishing".
For me, trying to improve oneself is trying to be a better person, trying to understand someone else's feelings or giving your best at whatever work you're doing.
For him though, it means mainly to care about your appearance. What style somebody represents, what kind of accessory you wear or how much you weight. Everytime he sees my unbelieving look, he likes to add things like accept challenges, but in the end, I know he doesn't mean it.
I don't think I have a bad style. I mean, I do not walk around messy. I wear earpiercings, have a tattoo, sometimes only light make-up. And I'm feeling fine the way I am.
My boyfriend though tells me on every occasion to "polish" myself.
I'm so tried of it that I, even if I just hear the sound of that word, start crying. What does he want? Making me into one of this japanese little girls who adapt everything their boyfriends tell them? He once told me, that the day we met, he thought my outfit was horrible, but since I had potential, he started dating me; believing, that I'd change.
So the me just the way I am is not enough huh.
I guess the moment I heard these words, something in me just started to hate him.
I'm tired to have to explain myself to my boyfriend for being who I am.
He thinks he understands me. But he does not. No matter how hard I try to explain.
Can there really be such a hollow person? And why did I fall in love with him?
I really wish I didn't...
Labels: Thoughts
posted by Aya at 6:20 PM
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